So, the Ocean, the open body of water that covers most of this planet’s surface. Deep and blue, full of mysteries. Full of things you can’t see and that can kill you. I’m not going to talk about the Great Cthulhu (even if I could do it, supporting my claims with the bloop), but I always found myself uneasy whenever I swam in the ocean. It’s cold. It’s full of complicated currents, corals, and stuff. Salt ? Salt is a killer for the skin. I swear! And my mother always told me never to take a bath after I ate. Hours spent on the beach bored out of my mind because I couldn’t bathe for three hours.
And, as if this wasn’t enough, there are people actually surfing in the ocean. Let’s consider surf. Surf is the clear demonstration that the multiverse exists. In order for the multiverse to exist, there is to be a near infinite number of dimensions alternate to ours, where whatever it could be, is. If you imagine something, that something is, somewhere, true.
Because, let’s get serious, who the hell stands on a beach looking at a towering wall of water and foam and thinks “i’m gonna take a wooden board, and surf on that motherfucker”. Some polinesian dude, that’s who. Those polynesian are so hardcore, they invented surf. Even Mark Twain was impressed with these fuckers to the point that he wrote, in his travel memoirs relating to his trip to hawaii,
“In one place we came upon a large company of naked natives, of both sexes and all ages, amusing themselves with the national pastime of surf-bathing.” (from Roughing It)and we’re speaking of someone who was friend with Nikola Tesla and the emperor of the United States of America, so you can imagine he was at home with strange shit.
It goes without saying that this sport is truly, extremely dangerous, and will most certainly kill you. Drowning is an obvious one, even if the board might work as a floater there are a number of occasion in which you might lose the board and your life. There is the possibility of deadly collision with boats, rocks and other surfers (did you see those huge samoan guys? man!); They tell me (wikipedia tells me) of something called a Rip Current, wich essentially is a tide that brings you out to the open sea where you’ll find your ultimately demise (by drowning, shark or exhaustion). An actual deathrap.
And yet people surf.